Sick n’Tired of Being Sick n’ Tired
I am so sick and tired of hearing the same complaints, over and over again: "I'm too fat," "I'm so lazy," "I don't have any energy". I just think to myself, "How much longer are you going to complain, to keep whining about the same things, and yet continue to do the very same actions that lead you to feeling fat and lazy? Aren't you tired of listening to yourself complain about these same things?" And that's when it hit me. Yes, yes I am tired of always telling myself that I feel fat and lazy. Yes I am tired of complaining about these things over and over and over again. And yes, it is me that I'm sick and tired of hearing complaints from!
But I'm talking about a different person now. Because when I finally got tired of struggling with the same old things, and when I finally became exhausted with struggling with the same old struggles, I finally came to the end of myself.
For those with a Christian bias, we might say I gave up trying to do it all myself, and finally succumbed to being conformed by the will of God. You could also say that I finally realized that I just wasn't being the person I knew I wanted to be, and I finally allowed myself to let go of that old person in order to embrace and become the one I really wanted to be.
Specifically, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I've been barely showing up to work, to church, to the events I've planned in my life. The events, in and of themselves, aren't particularly stressful or demanding. But with each commitment, I was feeling more and more overwhelmed. I was begrudging even the littlest of tasks. I was turning to food to give me any sense of pleasure in my life, and that was becoming a destructive downward spiral. I knew I didn't want to regain any of the 100 pounds that I had lost of the last 5 years. In fact, I've still been trying to lose 30 more! And this just added more pressure and self-loathing.
I knew exactly what I was doing wrong, but I couldn't see a way out.
Because letting go is hard and can take a very long time. Becoming a different person is quite a feat. Over a lifetime, we've learned ways of reacting in certain circumstances that have worked for us in the past. But if they're not working now, it can take a long time to try a different approach because we can really be quite a stubborn people.
Many of us have also 'learned' that doing something differently just doesn't work. We may have tried something once, only to be sorely disappointed or even hurt by the results. We may have tried to change a habit only to fall back into our old habits, falsely concluding that it just isn't possible. In either case, we might have taken that one instance of failure and generalized it: "Well, it didn't work this time, so it will never work."
Some of us simply live on autopilot, never realizing we have a choice in the way we react to life. This is where I was struggling. I was looking at my full, busy life and thinking to myself, "Well, I suppose I'll just be exhausted all of the time."
But then I had a wake-up call. I started looking around at others, seeing people who I know are even busier than me, and watching how they react to certain events and stresses. They're energetic, happy, excited. They actually approach life that way, not waiting on exciting things to come to them, but bringing the excitement with them, embodying it. And because of them, every one else becomes a little more excited, feels a little more capable to conquer the challenge set before them.
I decided I wanted to become that, and shed the former, complaint-prone version of me.
The switch was instantaneous, didn't require money or time, and in fact gave me more energy. I simply decided to show up to everything in my life with gusto! I decided not to complain about being busy, tired or lazy. And now, miracle of miracles, I'm not! I know that excitement is a choice, and not a reaction.
I've discovered that successful people try doing things in different ways. They never give up. They believe there is an answer to their problem, there is a key that they just haven't found yet. That's what it means to never give up.
They also don't generalize. When they fail (not if) they take the lesson in context: "This didn't work this time but what if I change one variable here? Will it work then?"
Successful people look around at how other people are, and take lessons from them.
Most importantly, successful people get sick and tired faster than everyone else. They get to the 'give up' point early, and are much better at letting go of the things that aren't working. So give up! At least on the things that make you sick and tired.
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